So i’m the bus, asleep… prophetically dreaming about the illusive career ahead of me (a regular dream I have) , when I am rudely woken by a sweaty unattractive older Turkish gentlemen. “Excuse me” he poked, “but you have missed your stop.” It was Oxford Circus (not my stop) and after wiping away the saliva from my chin, I realised that he was very close to me. “I’m fine thank you can you move away please?” “No miss, I shall sit here.” “Uh no thankyou and can you stop staring at my breasts please?” He doesn’t move and by this time I had been quite loud and assertive and all the other passengers had turned their heads towards us glaring at the inappropriate man and offering me sympathetic miming that read, “are you okay?”
I turn to the man and aggressively state “if you don’t move away I shall scream very loudly.” He didn’t move, but moved closer and leered further down my shirt. I removed myself and walked toward the driver and explained the circumstance (of which he completely ignored and ignorantly carried on driving. Cheers mate.)
The man finally removes himself from the seat and stands a safe distance away from me (enough so i can’t drop kick him in the balls) and so my journey wasn’t completely ruined (and also I realised i had embarrassed the man so much that he would continue to justify his existence and behavior as people normally do when they are ashamed) I decided blocking him out with the sweet soothing tones of Elton John’s Sacrifice would suffice.
Well…whatever the man continued to preach must have been horribly offensive because 15 passengers stood up and aggressively told him to leave the bus and then one Gentlemen kicked him off.
But just before he left I left him with a parting statement.
“Just so you know, your dating techniques are closely similar to a rapists. I’d work on that if I were you.”
Some passengers sat awkwardly, most passengers laughed. Overall I came off great and if I had had a computer near me I would’ve probably shown my YouTube channel to them.
I am warmed by the consideration of the passengers and as I continued to listen to Elton’s ballad I smiled, safe in the knowledge that even in this sometimes false, cold and isolated city, there are people in London who stand up and say how they feel. I know this, I met 15 of them.
Overall: Jayde: 1 London: 0
Apologies for the spelling and grammar